we'll be together in the golden years

my minds tellin me no, but my body, my body's tellin me yeah!

you are possibly the most attractive person at work. i like to see you smile in the mornings. your eyes and skin and smile, {i really like your smile} are the most captivating areas of you to me. yeah i check you out. mostly when you don't know but sometimes you catch me and its funny because i just giggle inside, sometimes a smile creeps out. i dont even know your last name. we barely even talk but almost everytime we do i give you a compliment, i hope you know these are sincere.

awkward is a weird word

why are people so awkward? what makes something an awkward situation? and why am i constantly bathing in awkwardness.

is that just who i am? that one awkward girl? haha...

its only kind of funny, not all the way funny. because its real its funny, but because it happens to me its not. i think my personal hell will be filled with complete awkwardness. oh i can't think about that too much. i must not procrastinate the day of my repentance! Ha.

...seriously though, i always tell myself if you make it awkward it's going to be awkward. do people do this on purpose to me? yes they do i know it! you barstard. but, sometimes i purposely create awkwardness, just because i think its funny. is it really that funny?

am i really on the truman show? just tell me you liars.

suggestions: dont ever say "this is awkward", it automatically makes it awkward. you moron.
i hate people like you.

its so funny though when it isn't you.
blogs are so awkward for me.
awkwardness stay away from me. but let me still laugh at you other awkward people.

ah bye

thank you

thank you for giving me that book when you did. and thank you for encouraging me to read it. it was exactly what i needed, and it was exactly when i needed it. perfect timing. i changed my life around thanks to it. i hope to help at least one other person like you've helped me, that's why i am going.

is that what this is about?

Do the things you've always wanted to do.



I've decided to blog about people that have influenced my life in whatever ways big or small. this may be a trend or may not be. feel free to comment.

i knew i'd love you. im smiling right now just thinking about you. i think you are incredible. there are many barriers that are placed between us and i dont know that ill ever see you again but i will never forget you and i will always have a place in my heart for you. you make me laugh a good laugh. just thinking about you makes my day. God loves you immensily i hope you know that. the example of love for others you have shown me, i hope to mimmic throughout my life. you have a simple yet genius mind. you know how to have fun, thanks for teaching me. you aren't afraid to talk to strangers and i admire that, you aren't afraid to give someone your smile, a wave, a hug, or your spirit. your soul shines through your very being, and its beautiful. i only wish i could express how much i love you. if not sooner i will see you in heaven.

love notes and things ive learned lately

i cannot even begin to describe how incredible the redwoods are. it was a spiritual experience for me to be among that kind of nature. check off the bucket list.

giving brings joy.

don't be scared. it'll all work out.

surround yourself with beauty. define beauty.
define words, define them for yourself and define them for the world. it's important.

stand as a witness of God at all times in all things and in all places. having the gift of the Holy Ghost as a companion is more important than anything else you will encounter in your life. practice what it feels like, know what it feels like for you, strive to keep that with you as much as possible.

Remember.

ultimately all you have is you and the Lord. work on your relationship with yourself and with God.

become who you are.

Reggae.

i am so very attracted to certain men that can pull off a ponytail.


i miss you terribly children of Ecuador.

painfully true

i admire your faith. i admire the simplicity and purity of your mind, yet it scares me. it scares me because i care about your well being. im trying to teach you to dream, and question, and think differently. you can do both, i swear. shit. do you know what its like to space out or to think illogically? dreaming can enrich your life. just try it, open your mind to something you've never even fathomed before. faith is a different subject entirely. God has given you the gift of faith. these are things that i wish i could say to you, actually i have said them to you, just in a different way.

hypocrisy

this blog-a-doosh. i don't want to make you mad, i don't want to hurt feelings but bloggin is weird to me. way weird.

i haven't yet decided what i want to do with this blog. this is awkward.

i have this theory that blogging is therapeutic, is it? i think that it can be.

i was thinking the other day about how i feel when im facebooking or reading blogs and stalking people like we all do on the world wide web now a days. what do i actually feel like after im done prodding into others lives?

i feel inadequate sometimes, and other times i feel sorry for others. sometimes i think this whole blog, facebook, myspace, twitter things is just people putting on a show for the world, their attempt to show the world how cool and exciting their life is compared to yours. i feel fayeaht when i don't put photos up of my sexy legs, or big boobs. my tweener body has come and gone, yours will come and go too. i am not poetic enough, im not a good enough writer for this. i feel like a crappy photographer when i look at others photos, but really they just have a nicer camera. i feel like i don't feel enough. where are all my feelings going, into the blogging world or are my feelings channeled where they are supposed to be.

i have bad grammar and i'm a terrible speller. i choose to make more paragraphs it looks nicer.

what is this? is this healthy?

i wonder if i tend to look at the profiles that are of people that i want to be like, or if i look more at the profiles of people that i don't want to be like and i feel bad for. survey starts now. its so fake haha. i laugh at it yet im doing it right now. i'd like to think that some people are real about it. my goal is to be as real as i possibly can. im an embarrassing fool jsyk. [just so you know] i just made that up. actually it was probably already invented.

case and point im a hypocrite.

today is the day

this is scary for me. but i think its good. can i please just tell you this.

i've tried like 26.5 times to tell you what i think of you. i don't think you understand. i see you. i see so much in you, and i don't even know you. you are [ ]. there isn't a single word for everything that i see in you. i see love, potential, creation, salvation, wisdom-no not quite wisdom, i see an old soul, i see success, i see a parent, i see depth, i see good, and i see that i can't see even an ounce of you. i care about you so greatly. you are great. i wish you the best, sincerely. you mean something to me.